Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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