i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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