you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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