Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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