We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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