Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
