you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
