and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
false alarm, still single
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