Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize