Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
