life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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