it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
