i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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