Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
