I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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