Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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