I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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