sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
