I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
