I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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