yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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