This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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