Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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