he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
