Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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