honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
