he thought i was a dude.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
