Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
