I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
