it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
