i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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