I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
