I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm having to shit out rocks
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
