Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
People in love make me want to vomit
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
