i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
