Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
