I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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