well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I will be naked everywhere
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
