Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
