I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
