Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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