His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
