i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
