I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
