Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
