how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
