i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
