Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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