Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
