I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
