I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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