I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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