it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
false alarm. still invincible.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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