did you get engaged???
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
