i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
