I hate your face
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i came on her dog
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
