Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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