you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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