I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize