Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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