she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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