white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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