i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
