I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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