she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
