So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
