My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
