I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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