An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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