the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize