oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
