My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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