I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize