Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
