This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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