I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize